Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Some discoveries

Early in our relationship, Jeremy and I found that sick days were some of the best times we had together. He would lay on the futon with his head in my lap. I would cook and spoil him. We would be ridiculously and utterly lazy, spending the days and evenings in conversation or watching our favorite movies and shows.

This weekend, my husband was sick. He took a sick day on Monday. It was the first time that he was this sick since our Samwise was born in November. We noticed the striking differences between the sick days of old and this weekend. When Jeremy coughed or blew his nose, I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed that Samwise wouldn't wake from his nap. I would have spent time fixing fun meals for us, but instead I was spending my time entertaining our son, and trying to keep him from wailing and waking Jeremy. We quickly discovered that sick days are not fun anymore.

Something I realized this morning: Samwise is 10 weeks old on Friday... and it's still like I'm feeling around in the dark. We keep trying this whole "routine" thing (which my husband thinks is wierd and unnatural)... and I'm struggling. Sure, there are some good days. And yes, Samwise usually sleeps most of the way through the night. But my son almost never naps the way I want him to. He doesn't eat the way I think he should. I'm still trying to find the balance between playing with him without smothering him with attention and getting things done around the house without being totally negligent. Let's also throw in some meals and alone time for me while we're at it. How does that work?!?!

I'm learning.

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