Saturday, April 25, 2009

A Day of Great Things


I had breakfast with some old friends (yay Meghan and Shawn!) and met their beautiful children.
I made a lasagna that didn't fall apart when I cut into it... for the first time ever.
Samuel rolled over for the first time (but I missed it because I was building the lasagna).
My father offered us his riding lawn mower.
Jeremy's father offered us a five-burner gas grill.
Samuel took a two hour nap.
Mary finished her first year of law school.

Maybe more to come...

Friday, April 24, 2009

7 Quick Takes Friday # 8

Weekly Seven Quick Takes are hosted by Jenn at

1. Our good friend Charlotte finally had her first baby. She and her husband were so anxious to meet their little Bobby! However, there have been great difficulties with his heart. He was born on Monday morning... and Charlotte wasn't able to hold him until TODAY! Charlotte and Rob are staying at the Ronald McDonald House near Duke. Bobby's scheduled for surgery on April 27 at 10:00. Please join us in prayer for this precious, sweet family.

2. Jeremy is going to Lynchburg EARLY tomorrow morning so that he can take the Praxis II for Physics. I am going along... mostly as moral support AND to meet up with my friend Meghan's family for breakfast. I look forward to it very much!

3. Samuel is growing by leaps and bounds! Every couple of days he takes a longer nap (hallelujah!). He babbles and coos constantly. Several times today, I saw aaaaaalllllmosssst turn over while playing in the floor. We also attempted rice cereal today, for the second time. Every time I filled the spoon, Samuel grabbed it, shoved it into his mouth, and sluuuuurped it clean!

4. I'm attempting some pulled pork barbeque in the crockpot tonight-- with my very own homemade peach barbeque sauce. We'll see.

5. We're going to Blacksburg next weekend because... Jeremy has a job interview with the Governor's School. Hooray! I'm actually having a difficult time praying about this. I know that it would be best for our finances, etc. if Jeremy gets a good job and we stay in this area. Buuuuuttttttt.... my best friends are still in the Blacksburg area. And I loved my parish there. I feel so selfish and silly praying to move back. Ugh.

6. We just watched a movie called Without A Clue starring Michael Caine (whom I adore). SO entertaining! It's a retelling of the Sherlock Holmes adventures, but the twist is fabulous and hilarious.

7. My weeks have started to have an actual rhythm, which is nice. Monday and Wednesday are mostly stay home and take care of things days. Tuesday and Thursday are go to daily Mass, eat lunch, and push strollers around with Katie days. Fridays are wild cards. Tuesday is also go to choir practice day... hopefully.


Monday, April 20, 2009


I went and checked out the daycare center that people have recommended to us most highly.

The director was very nice. I waited in her office while she got her list that indicated the next availability in their nursery. While I sat and waited, I listened. Every time I heard crying, I choked. Finally managed to get myself under control before the director came in. We start talking logistics.

The next opening is in July. It's $120 a week. No, we don't offer part-time care for infants. There's a $120 non-refundable registration fee to hold your spot. It's okay, don't worry-- lots of first-time mothers cry in my office. Here, have a tissue.

Yes. I broke down and bawled in the office.

We toured the place. It seemed nice enough. Each baby has his own designated crib. They can't use cloth diapers. They keep written track of naps, meals, and play. They have a mini-mini-van stroller thingy that they use to take the kids outside and walk around. The diaper changing station looked clean and organized, and there plenty of anti-bacterial wipes nearby. It was clean looking. There were toys, swings, Exer-Saucers, and rocking chairs.

One baby was napping in a swing. One was being fed a bottle. One was playing in her crib. Three were sitting at the table having a snack. One was playing with an empty rocking chair. Two were playing in the floor. And one sweet curly-haired boy kept going to the window and calling for his mommy. I just wanted to scoop him up and hug him... and cry, of course. But I didn't.

None of the babies looked as though they had been left to wail for long periods of time unattended, which was comforting. I know. I probably sound like a nut case. I keep thinking about walking down the hall at the hospital and looking in the nursery window... seeing babies crying their heads off, while they lay under the bili-lamps.

All in all, it was a productive trip. We're going to get Samuel on the list, and wait, and pray. Mostly praying that the non-refundable money goes to waste because Jeremy ends up with a job that honestly pays enough that we don't need the spot. But also praying that I will accept with grace what God bestows upon us.

Pray with me?

Sunday, April 19, 2009

self pity and whining

Warning: as the title indicates, this post is full of whining.

There was a line I heard in a movie once. "Everybody's peeing on my head and telling me it's rain."

This is how I've been feeling for a while now. Things were going great. I was in a job I loved with bosses that I respected and co-workers that I adored. I met the man of my dreams and we got married. Then, we decided that we should both finish our college degrees. Granted, that would mean spending some time apart... but we thought that would be easier to do while we didn't have children. Once I got over the initial worries, I got very excited about this plan. It was going to be my last hurrah. Once we were both graduated, Jeremy would get a great job someplace and we would be D.I.N.K.s for a few years. THEN... we could have all the babies we ever wanted!

What a great plan!

Then I was pregnant. Wait... what?

So, I changed jobs and took a few classes online. Then Jeremy decides he wants to halt the PhD and get a job. So, we move. We buy a wonderful little house. He becomes a high school teacher. I transferred within the company. All the while, I'm totally depressed.

I have Samuel. I quit my job to stay home with him. Depression is over. I love life! Maybe when Samuel's old enough for school, I can find a job I really like or OPEN MY BAKERY and fulfill some dreams.

What a great plan!

Then the economy plummets. Wait... what?

The school tells Jeremy that they have to give his job to a more senior faculty member. He starts looking for new jobs. We start talking about putting Samuel in DAYCARE while I work full-time. Where can I work? Well... the bank that I worked for previously isn't hiring right now. Jeremy keeps mentioning nursing home and hospital "chef" jobs. I don't want to go back to a foodservice job, with it's physical exhaustion, crazy hours, ridiculous drama, and stress.

Every time Jeremy and I talk about it, I start crying. All I can do is imagine the worst. I think about somebody else being there when Samuel does really cute things that I would take a picture of. Of somebody else hearing his first words. Somebody else playing with him all day. Somebody else helping him take his first steps. I know I'm painting the bleakest picture possible... but I don't know what else to imagine. I know people do it all the time. I know. But seriously, now that I'm used to being with Samuel 24/7... I don't know if I can handle giving him over to somebody else!

I'm also scared to death that I'll be "too tired" to give him enough attention when I get home.
I think this might really be the biggest part of my worries. I mean, come on! If Samuel gets up at 7, I have to work 8-6, and he goes to bed at 9... oh my God! 3.5 hours with my son. That's it?!?!!?!?!?

I know that it's hard and frustrating for Jeremy, and that he's stressed out trying to "hedge our bets" by looking for new jobs and finishing licensure stuff. It's stressful for both of us, being in limbo right now.

I'm also frustrated by the fact that everytime I'm happy, something happens. And then, I start feeling like, "Everybody's peeing on my head and telling me it's rain."

End whininess.

Friday, April 17, 2009

7 Quick Takes Friday (#7)

1. We have an elderly neighbor who likes to come over randomly and talk to Jeremy about, well, random things. About our grass and how tall it's getting. About Jeremy's old cars. About our son. About the history of the Bible. I wouldn't mind all this, but for a single factor. He pushes the bell 3-4 times. I mean, come on! My baby could be taking one of his precious 30-45 minute naps.

I almost said something to him about all of this... but he offered to weed-eat our yard.

2. This is Spring Break week for Jeremy. The original plan was to replace the kitchen countertops this week. Instead, Jeremy is filling out applications and sending out resumes. One's going to a Cape Fear Community College in Wilmington, NC. That sounds nice to me... but it's going to have to pay an awful lot for us to take it. We shall see.

3. Samuel is very nearly sleeping through the night. It's usually 9-5 and then 5:30-7ish. Not complaining AT ALL, since for several weeks he was up 3-4 times a night.

That said... I feel that Samuel has suddenly gotten very "needy" in the past few days. Maybe because Daddy's on vacation and available to hold him too? All I know is... this cannot continue. Crying and general unhappiness I can handle. That awful squealy screeching sound he makes every time I lay him down to play in the floor? Not so much!

4. The parents are auditioning for a new pastoral position in Alabama. I hope they get it.

5. The Mary Kay sales are doing okay. I've decided that I don't want to attend the "success" meeting (aka Hey-- you should recruit everybody you know!) or participate in the conference calls (aka Hey-- you should order thousands of dollars of inventory, even though you don't know anybody in this town yet!). I like the product, and I like the Skincare Class set-up. Pretty sure I can make it without that "support."

6. My goal for Lent was to get things rolling for a mothers' group at church. I didn't get quite that far. However, the pastor's assistant's wife and I have decided that we are going to attend Daily Mass, eat lunch after, and take the babies on a walk as frequently as possible. I feel like that's a decent start.

7. This was my third Catholic Easter-- the first in our new parish. Is it really immature of me to say that I really missed our old parish and wish we could celebrate Easter there? I think the reason is two-fold. That's the parish that we did all our confirmation stuff with and where we were married. We have people there. The old parish also did things a little differently. I know that each parish varies some, and it's something I need to accept.

Either way. I love Easter.