I went and checked out the daycare center that people have recommended to us most highly.
The director was very nice. I waited in her office while she got her list that indicated the next availability in their nursery. While I sat and waited, I listened. Every time I heard crying, I choked. Finally managed to get myself under control before the director came in. We start talking logistics.
The next opening is in July. It's $120 a week. No, we don't offer part-time care for infants. There's a $120 non-refundable registration fee to hold your spot. It's okay, don't worry-- lots of first-time mothers cry in my office. Here, have a tissue.
Yes. I broke down and bawled in the office.
We toured the place. It seemed nice enough. Each baby has his own designated crib. They can't use cloth diapers. They keep written track of naps, meals, and play. They have a mini-mini-van stroller thingy that they use to take the kids outside and walk around. The diaper changing station looked clean and organized, and there plenty of anti-bacterial wipes nearby. It was clean looking. There were toys, swings, Exer-Saucers, and rocking chairs.
One baby was napping in a swing. One was being fed a bottle. One was playing in her crib. Three were sitting at the table having a snack. One was playing with an empty rocking chair. Two were playing in the floor. And one sweet curly-haired boy kept going to the window and calling for his mommy. I just wanted to scoop him up and hug him... and cry, of course. But I didn't.
None of the babies looked as though they had been left to wail for long periods of time unattended, which was comforting. I know. I probably sound like a nut case. I keep thinking about walking down the hall at the hospital and looking in the nursery window... seeing babies crying their heads off, while they lay under the bili-lamps.
All in all, it was a productive trip. We're going to get Samuel on the list, and wait, and pray. Mostly praying that the non-refundable money goes to waste because Jeremy ends up with a job that honestly pays enough that we don't need the spot. But also praying that I will accept with grace what God bestows upon us.
Pray with me?